I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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