I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
