marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
