woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
