I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
