apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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