I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
