did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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