Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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