I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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