You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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