Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
