you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
