i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
