i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
