you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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