I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
