I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
