I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
