the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
