Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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