Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
