The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
