your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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