Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
vagina is talking i cant
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize