bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
