as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
