My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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