no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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