I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
