I cannot find my penis.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
