I like to think it a success when the cops are called
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
