I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
