we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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