I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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