hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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