oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
