If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
