yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
