You smell like a Billy Joel song
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
