Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
