Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
