i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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