I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
