once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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