Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
