He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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