Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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