I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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