Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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