I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
