Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
