You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize