I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
