what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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