went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
