yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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