And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize