My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
