so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
