Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Of course I have a pirate flag
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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